Anonymous asked: hi!! i've always been a bit confused about my sexuality but it really hasn't bothered me until recently.. i've been having dreams where i'm romantically involved with my best girl friend... i don't know what to do!! should i tell her and just come out as totally confused and liking whoever, or just keep it to myself??

Hmm. Well, I think there are two things you could do here.

1. You could talk to her about your dreams and see where it goes. The pros are a, you might find an amazing companion in her, b, you might realise your sexuality, c, your romantic dreams might become reality. The con is, you could make it awkward and jeopardise your friendship if she doesn’t feel the same.

2. You could experiment elsewhere. Pros; realising your sexuality, finding a companion in someone else, becoming more comfortable with who you are and being sure of what your dreams are telling you. Cons, you could face a bit more confusion, theres potential danger in it (slim, if you take precautions), and the risk of doing something you regret.

I think you should keep your dreams about her to yourself for the time being, and experiment with your sexuality. You may realise that you are only feeling romantic towards her, or that your dream is trying to tell you something else altogether, or you might resolutely figure out what you identify as.

Anonymous asked: OK, so, I'm a dude who's never had a girlfriend, much to my dismay. It's not that I don't try to ask girls out or anything; the problem is that whenever I realize I like a girl, I muster up the nerve to talk to her and then immediately find out either that she's gay or that she isn't even remotely attracted to me. This wouldn't even bother me so much if it were just once or twice, but it's seriously EVERY time I fall for a girl. Do you have any tips on how to deal with this nonsense?

Maybe your gaydar is working back to front? Instead of finding people of mutual interest, it’s gone cock up and is finding people who aren’t interested.

S’happened to me plenty of times, dude. I’ve sauntered up to a fine looking thing and they’ve given me the cold shoulder because they aren’t swinging this way. You just gotta get up, dust yourself off and keep truckin’. There’ll be a lady out there. Have patience and don’t let it beat your self esteem. Just think of the lucky girls able to be with the girls you admire, and be happy for them.

Anonymous asked: I was so worried but looking through and finding other people with similar problems makes me feel re-assured. THANKYOU!

You’re welcome, kiddo. No one messaging Momma or myself here is alone. There is always someone there by your side. Keep your chin up.

Anonymous asked: Momma, Bro, I want to thank you for all the help you give us. With the advice you've given me, you've really helped me come to grips with my weight and body image, and I'm starting to take steps to truly loving myself. Thank you for everything! I think I speak for everyone when I say that y'all are amazing!

Aww lovely i'm so glad your'e leaning to loeve yourself. 

And I’m glad to hear we helped. Keep strong, kiddo. 

Anonymous asked: Hi Mom, it's the anon from a while ago who couldn't finish with her boyfriend, and I have the SAME problem. He's eaten me out, and we've even done the full-on dance with no pants (once, so far)! Still no big O! I'm starting to worry that it's my body's problem, not his. I can still finish by myself, and I've been experimenting a bit, but is it possible that my body just isn't attracted to him enough or something?? I've also started to do kegel exercises. If you've got more tips, let me know.

bAbe if yuou can bring yourself to the big ho ho then it's not yuyr boddy that's the problem. Have you tried using your toys with him? mAybe that will work. it'll jUst take time probbably until you both can sync out a rhythm that works for you. haVE PAtience. It'll happen, and when it does, i bet you it will be aH MAZING.

Anonymous asked: I'm a girl. I dated a girl once, and I still like her (heck, maybe even love.) and everyone now thinks I'm bi because I make it pretty clear that I like boys too. But I'm not, I've only ever been attracted to that one girl. But when I say attracted, I mean as in kissing and hugging but nothing further than that eg sex. I've had the same problem with every person I like. Is something wrong with me because of that? I've just been taught no sex before marriage and I believe it too.

Honey, there is absolutely zero wrong with you. You might be a straight girl who loved another girl. Only you can decide your sexuality, and no one else. You say yourself that you are not bi, so you are not bi. 

As for sex, if you believe in virginity until marriage, then that is your personal preference. Many traditional christians (hell, hundreds of other religions as well) still practice virginity until marriage, so you are entirely normal.

Just don’t let someone pressure you into it because they think you’re ‘old fashioned’ or some such tripe. Only you can decide when you wish to have sex, just as only you can decide your sexuality.

Anonymous asked: (To Lalonde) I don't believe I'm an asexual person since I'm turned on sexually by people and sexual things but I don't think I'd really enjoy sex. Like I don't know if I would really want to use someone else's body as a masturbatory aid you know what I mean? I don't have a problem with sex at all it's just if I did it I would probably feel wrong about it or I wouldn't be into it. Is there some sort of term for this? I'd try it out to find out but there is nobody to help and I doubt I'd do it.

Heey bby. Hmm well there probabbly is a term for it. Maybe you need liek a rly close relationship wi th the person beforr you get sexul? thaT could be demisexual, or maybe ou're just a romantic aseual. ...or if ou get turned on o your own, make a term! OMnisexual. Getting sexual on your own! Hahaha. 

But dont feel liek oyou're weird for this because i garuantee youre not the onliy' one. iT could be your mindset, it could just be you. yOU never know! but done't let youruself be pressured into a sexual relationship if youur'e not comfortbal. mAYBE se x with anothre preson just isn't for you.

Anonymous asked: This is kind of a silly problem, but it's been bugging me. See, I REALLY hate leg-jiggling. It used to just distract me, seeing a jiggling leg in my peripheral vision, but now it makes me really mad. But there's a lot of leg-jigglers in school, and I can't shift my field of vision to get them ALL out of sight, and I know they probably can't help it so I can't really tell them to stop - but how do I get through the school day without wanting to rip everyone apart limb by limb by the end of it?

Sit in an area of your class room where you can’t see it. Up front and centre, or towards the side, somewhere you won’t see them. Go for walks during your breaks to stop yourself getting irritated, or find something to immerse yourself in such as drawing or reading a book. Rather than having them all stop, remove yourself from the situation.

Anonymous asked: hi momma lalonde. so i've been sorta sexually frustrated and i was going to turn to masturbation, but i really dont know how to????? that probably sounds really stupid but i really dont know?? like, do you just stick you hand up there or???? i dont know, ive never done something like that before UnU

Aheh darlin' welcome to the wonderful worl d of the labrynth that is the lady bit!

weLL. There are a couple ways. yOu could try a toy (somethin small i'd recomemd becasue you're  new to this, liek a bullet vibe), or your fingers (start witht one and work your way up as you get ocomfotebal), and finger yourself. iN my experiendce, it feels nice if you curl a finger towards your belly buttin as you inger yourself--

Nice to know, Lalonde.

--shh. Annynway. You could tru the finger or you could try externnal. here is a picutre that will help yuou map it out. rUBBing your clitorus is one of the wyas most girls get off externally. jUSTkeep touching yourself until you feel good. iF you keep pplaying, you'll eventully find what sets yuou off.

best of luCK! xx

Anonymous asked: so for the longest time ive just, well, fucking hated myself. self loathing to the motherfucking xtreme so bad that sometimes i go out of my way to make myself feel like shit. but i just hate myself. the way i look, act, talk, think, walk, breathe, i could go on, i see myself as a deformed freak for many reasons (scolliosis, asthma). also i try too hard to be friends with people and end up looking like some strange stalker or a desperate fag with nothing anyone is interested in. so, what do i do

thought of some other stuff. it seems like no one likes me. i mean, i think im pretty cool, ive got musican talent, i game a lot, im a nice dude and can be funny rarely, but people just dont seem interested in me. fuck this is stupid and im stupid someone just punch me really hard

Kid, I think you need to check in to get some professional help. It sounds like you’re struggling hard, and I don’t want to see you take yourself out with this self loathing. You’re worth more than what you give yourself credit for. There’s no shame in needing help.